The Worst Hobbit of All

Author: Jay-Rey (@jay_rey)
(Note: This article is purely about the characters as portrayed in the Peter Jackson films. Events and histories only mentioned in the books are not included here)

(Via )

If you haven’t seen The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug yet, you’re missing out. Probably, anyways. It is a great addition to the Lord of the Rings mythos, and continues to be an entertaining franchise. While the new trilogy and the original have some obvious overlap in terms of themes, locations, and characters, the most prevalent is in the title of the latest trilogy: Hobbit.

From the 5 films, we encounter 5 note worthy hobbits. These guys are huge players in the events around them, but not all 5 of our shire-living-folk are equal. Here is my list, totally my own opinion, about who the best and worst Hobbits are…

1) Bilbo Baggins


I am sure with this claim of Bilbo being the best Hobbit, you can assume how the rest of this list will go. But one at a time, kids. Bilbo is the debatable catalyst for all things to come. As Gandalf said, all the grey wizard did was give him “a nudge out the door.” And while he is very reserved during the The Hobbit, he is very much an asset by the time the second film rolls around. Much to his own surprise, he is an sneaky as Gandalf sold him to be, he has slain his fair share of evil creatures, and he has saved the dwarf company as often as they have saved him. He is smart and quick on his feet, as shown in his riddle challenge against Gollum, and even in buying time when facing Smaug. He will undoubtedly play another key roll in the events of the final film, and never truely looses his new found adventurer’s spirit.

Rating – 10/10 – Would throw a Shire Party for

2) Meriadoc Brandybuck –


If I could, Merry and Pippin would probably be tied for this spot, but thats not how lists work, and I wanna play by some kind of rules. Essentially, Merry is the smart one out of the short-dynamic-duo. They are paired together often, but despite his bad ideas, he is often the first one to pick up on gauging the situation.

-He knows there is no second breakfast on the road
-He is not the one who knocks the heavy pail down the empty well alerting the thousands of goblins waiting in the Mines of Moria
-He is not the one who touches Palantir, cause Sauron to be alerted of their location.

Sure, most of these don’t show that he knows more, but he is smart enough to know where he shouldn’t be at a given time. He is loyal to the Fellowship, to the Shire, and Pippin. And despite his small stature, has fought alongside allies against some of the fiercest foes Middle Earth has ever seen.

8/10 – Would smoke pipe-weed with

3) Peregrin Took


Funny, innocent, and a little more naive than his counter part, Pippin is a little more thoughtful when it comes to the events around him. Ready to go when his friends are in trouble, his happy go lucky attitude is a much needed light during the groups dark trials. He is as broken up about the death of Gandalf the Grey as Frodo, faces being abducted by orcs after the fall of Borimir with bravery and will, and stands with the army of men and elves at the Black Gates of Mordor. He may night be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you’d be lucky to have this particular hobbit by your side.

8/10 – Would cook second breakfast with

4) Samwise Gamgee

( Via

Sam annoyed me a lot of the time. He was nosey and spineless in the Shire, annoyingly dedicated to his subservient roll to Frodo during most of the journey, and his general home sickness. He whined a lot, didn’t he? I mean, what is the deal with following Frodo into a river when you can’t swim and don’t have a boat?

But the guy was loyal to the end. Deep in the enemy encampment of Mordor, he saved Frodo from giant Spider’s, the twisted lies of Gollum, and even physically carried Frodo the last stretch of the way into Mount Doom. It took 3 movies and a lot of walking, but Sam isn’t such a bad guy. Nice to see by the end of the trilogy that he gets to marry his dream girl.

5/10 – Would discus the pronunciation of Potatoes with

5) Frodo Baggins


You want to like him. I am fairly sure we are all supposed to. More brave and willing than his uncle was during the beginning of his own adventure, Frodo is just boring. He is too nice, he is too sensitive, and the mother f$%&-er is always getting stabbed. He is stabbed twice in the first movie! First by the Morgul Blade and then by the cave trolls spear (and saved by Bilbo’s mithril armor).  He becomes poisoned by the ring and betrays Sam, gets caught by a spider (something is uncle was able to avoid, and save a couple people in the process), and basically checks out for the entire end of the adventure. So much so that he only really saved the day because Gollum bit his finger off and danced his crazy self into the fires of Mount Doom.

He is just forgetful. Its not his fault. The Fellow Ship of the Ring was designed to get him to where he was going. He has had some of the most loyal friends a hobbit could ask for. He doesn’t really need to bring too much to the table if everyone else is doing the heavy lifting for him.

2/10 – Would throw into a volcano

There you go. What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Hate it or love it? Leave a comment below!



Filed under Movie News, Rant

6 responses to “The Worst Hobbit of All

  1. Jen

    I agree whole-heatedly with this entire list. Bilbo is absolutely the best Hobbit for soooo many reasons. I always thought I was an Elijah Wood fan, but I really can’t stand Frodo at all! Martin Freeman was so great in The Hobbit and I cannnnnnnnnnnnnot wait to see the new one, tonight. 😀

  2. Ken/Kevin Macri is my fav Hobbit. Always and forever.

  3. Haha. I totally agree. Bilbo was my favorite. It was a shame to see him so… worn out in LoTR. Broke my heart.

  4. I am right with you. And of course his famous turn to grab the ring from Frodo in Rivendelle is his junkie rock bottom. One of the few moments that still spooks me in those flicks.


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